I’m fairly lukewarm on the idea of New Year’s resolutions. They don’t really work for me. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think about the year gone by and what I’d like to be different or better in the new one. I’ll work towards those things. But I know that my brain doesn’t like it when I promise things–even to myself. Yes, I suppose it means I’m not holding myself accountable for the things I don’t achieve, but it also means I’m not beating myself up for failing. And I know which is more likely to happen when it comes to my mind.
In fact, forgiving myself and letting go is at the top of my list for 2016. I tend to get obsessive about things like media. If I’ve subscribed to a podcast, I feel like I have to listen to all the episodes. I got a bit better about that last year, and I want to improve more this year. In fact, I just deleted a podcast ep I was only halfway through. It was a Doctor Who podcast, and while I was taking some schadenfreudeical delight in hearing cranky old fans moan about how “Hell Bent” was “a waste of Gallifrey”, there’s only so much of that kind of negativity I can consume without it affecting my mental health. It’s okay to beg off when that starts to happen. I’ve never actually done it before today, and I do feel a little guilty about it, but I’m trying to let that go.
Speaking of podcasts, I need to stop trying to listen to so many of my friends’ podcasts. Or rather (because listening to all of the podcasts my friends do is literally impossible), I need to stop feeling bad about it when I don’t listen. There are only so many hours in the day. And they (most, anyway) don’t listen to all the podcasts I do. That’s a tall order in itself. Heck, even my mom doesn’t listen to all my podcasts! (Nor should she!)
So yeah. Letting up on myself is an important task for 2016.
I also want to listen to more music this year. I suppose that goes hand-in-hand with the podcast thing. Podcasts have supplanted music as my listening-material of choice. Music was once a HUGE part of my life. I feel a little sad I’ve left it so entirely behind. I listened to a couple albums by Motion City Soundtrack and Sugarcult this past weekend, so I feel like I’m already off to a good start on this one.
One of the more important things I need to do this year is get better at keeping in contact with my family. Skype is easy, but finding time to Skype among everything else going on is less so. I do best when I have a recurring appointment on the calendar, and while that feels a bit artificial, I now realize it’s that or have very little contact at all. Dear brain, there’s nothing wrong with having a standing appointment with your family. The need to “schedule them in” doesn’t mean you love them any less. So yeah, getting that on the calendar is at the top of my to-do list!
And of course, I want all the “classics”–to eat better, exercise more, lose some pounds. I’ve been on the elliptical almost daily since mid-December, and I’ve been using MyFitnessPal to track my caloric intake for much of that time as well, so yay for that! But I’m not going to look at it as a Must-Do task, or I risk burning out. If I need a day (or several) off, I’ll take it. The more okay that is, the more likely I’ll get back to it.
Most relevant here on my blog is that I want to write more. Last January I wrote a post about how I was letting my brain get in the way and not writing because I was worried about how the content/frequency might be viewed by readers, specifically the amazing, wonderful, gorgeous, talented folks who are my Patreon supporters. Despite my reassurances to myself in that post, I managed to slip back into second-guessing mode by the end of the year. Well, no more of that! I’m not going to castigate myself for it, I’m just gonna try to do better and move along.
So yeah, I’m still meh on the resolution thing, because “resolve” is a scary concept. I’m just going to take it one day at a time and do what I can. Some days I’ll make it. Some days I won’t. And that’s A-OK.