You Can’t Go Back

As I compose this, I’m sitting on the couch next to my spouse, Steven. We’re watching TV together. This wouldn’t be a weird thing, except that it’s during the day on a weekday.* That doesn’t usually happen. Or it didn’t usually happen. It certainly can now because Steven was laid off last week.

This was completely unexpected, though not entirely surprising. (He worked in the swiftly-sinking television industry. As he put it “I caught the first lifeboat off the Titanic.”) The lack of warning made it quite the heart-stopping day. The fact that I’m also between jobs leaves us with little in the way of a safety net. And that’s scary.

My greatest personal struggle right now is to keep from beating myself up. If you’ve been reading this blog regularly, you know I chose to leave my job last year because it wasn’t a great fit, and I wanted to pursue something that would make me happier. That was the right decision at the time. I knew the job market in Edmonton was tough, but I felt it was worth the risk.

From this angle, that risk looks much worse than it did back then. But blah blah hindsight blah blah. As my wise mother told me when I called to tell her the news, “You can’t go back.” There’s no use kicking myself and feeling guilty about a choice I made months ago. I have to move forward and focus on making the future as stable and bright as possible.

To that end, I’ve been focusing on freelancing opportunities in addition to my basic job search. I even finally got around to setting up a professional website, detailing how awesome I am at technical writing and editing and voice work and podcast consultation and all that jazz. If you’re in the market for such things, or know someone who is, I’d be mighty obliged if you’d head/send them that way!

>> erikaensign.pro <<

To his credit, Steven basically said the same thing my mom did. He’s adamant that I needed to make the choice I did, and there hasn’t been the merest whiff of recrimination. I’m a lucky lady.

So here’s to the present and the future. Because that’s all there is. I can’t go back.

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*Note: It’s not a holiday in Canada today.

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One thought on “You Can’t Go Back

  1. […] Ensign takes a kind of comfort in the fact that you can’t go back, and focuses on the future. (Also, hire […]

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