Just so I don’t bury the lede, it’s official, I am once again employed! But that’s only partially the point of this post.
I’ve been on the hunt for work for quite some time. If you’re like me, when you’re looking for a job, you do a lot of soul-searching. You spend a lot of time thinking about what you like to do, what you don’t like to do, what you’re good at, and what you struggle with. You spend a lot of brain-energy trying to encapsulate your good qualities in pithy little sound bites.
Eventually, if you’re lucky, you discover (or create or stumble upon) a personal motto — something that sums you up as a person, or at least sums up the way you interact with the world. For me, that motto is the title of this piece: Let me be of service.
If you follow me on social media or podcasts, you may know I’ve been temping for the government for a couple of months. Funnily enough, my motto didn’t come to me until after I had the temp job (which I very much enjoyed). Before that, I hadn’t really given much thought to the fact that government employees are civil servants. They work in the civil service. That word, service, is something I only started to emotionally interrogate after I’d started working for the government.
Somewhere along the line I realized that it elegantly sums up how I’ve felt about my interactions with other people throughout my entire life. In a general sense, I’ve always wanted to be of service, whether that meant making someone happy, making someone’s life better or easier, shouldering a burden for someone else, or even just making someone less unhappy.
My temp job is now over, but I was lucky enough to get another, similar, job in the government. And happily, I am finding that it is perfectly suited to my temperament and desires. I am performing a service. I’ve always gravitated to jobs where I felt my work was going toward helping someone, even if that help was somewhere far down the line from the work I performed (and here, it’s really not).
I chose to come here to Canada, to Alberta. It was a scary and momentous decision, but this province has welcomed me and made me feel like I belong here in a thorough and wonderful way I didn’t expect. Now I feel like I have the chance to repay that kindness, and it feels very good indeed.
Practically speaking, it’s also a weight off my mind when it comes to financial stability (though it’ll take a little while to dig out of my shallow debt-hole). And of course we still need to find some income for Steven! But bottom line: I’m deliriously happy to have landed where I did, and I feel fulfilled on a level I couldn’t have predicted.
So this weekend, after finishing my first week in this new position, I am feeling gratitude, giving thanks, and celebrating. I’ve spent what feels like a long time looking, hoping, and worrying, but now I finally have some measure of security.
Best of all, I know I can be of service.