Better Days Ahead (Or So I’m Telling Myself)

Yesterday I got turned down for a job I didn’t really want. There were enough drawbacks it would have been a tough job to make work logistically, and it (probably) wouldn’t have paid enough to make it worth it. That said, while waiting to hear back, I’d almost talked myself into taking it anyway if they offered it, simply because I need the paycheck.

So when I got that rejection email, my instant reaction was disappointment. Very very quickly, that changed to acceptance. And at this point, I’m near to relief. While I would have been really good at the job, the hurdles required to get there would have gotten old fast.

Later that same day, I found two promising jobs to apply to, received a call back from a placement agency, and got a lead on a communications job in a good office (a dog-friendly office with at least one very nice office pup!). Now, there’s no guarantee any of these will pan out any better than that last one did, but if I’d taken that not-great position, I’d’ve missed out on all these opportunities, which very well may fit my lifestyle and location perfectly.

So if you’re floundering, I know it’s cheesy to say “brave heart, hang in there”, but seriously, do. There’s no shame in getting discouraged and down on yourself—that’s where I was about a week ago. But I keep reminding myself all those negative feelings don’t help anything. Sure, there’s no guarantee things will turn around. There’s a chance they won’t and things will get worse. BUT. There’s also a chance that something fab will come around the next corner.

Thus, whenever possible, I try to operate emotionally as if something good is on the way. Not because I think there’s some cosmic power that’s going to make it happen if I think happy thoughts (though if there is, all the better), but because feeling happy (or at least calm) won’t get in my way. Feeling worried and scared most certainly does get in the way of getting shit done.

I know I can’t feel good about everything all the time. But I can choose not to wallow on purpose. So here’s me not wallowing. In fact, I’m chillin’ in a coffee shop before an interview at that placement agency I mentioned. Wish me luck!

Whooping it Update

That title is 100% ironic, I assure you. I try to focus on positivity here as much as possible, but boy oh boy is that hard when you’re sick and have been for a long time. Thus, I’ve been a bit quiet this month. I did watch The Philadelphia Story–several weeks ago now. At first I was putting off writing about it because I was intimidated–it’s a really good movie, you know? And then it was because I was just so danged tired I couldn’t make my brain form thoughtful sentences.

It’s amazing how much a simple (or not so simple) cough can take out of you. I’m now to the stage where I wake up multiple times a night unable to breathe, thinking I’m dying. So yeah, struggling a bit to find the positive. Still mostly managing to though. When I’m lying there next to my humidifier concentrating on breathing shallowly, I think about how glad I am to be lying there. Regardless what happens or how sick I get, I’m still constantly thrilled to be here in Edmonton with Steven.

We worked so hard to get me to Canada that even shitty stuff like being sick together has a little hint of sappy sweetness. We get to take care of each other instead of staring at each other over Skype, not being able to do anything to help. (We did plenty of that, and it was heartbreaking.)

So anyway, in another 4-8 weeks (sigh), I look forward to having some more energy and getting back to proper blog posts and podcasts. (Poor Lazy Doctor Who is on a bit of an illness-enforced hiatus.) Until then, things might remain a bit quiet here.

Snap Judgements – Avoid the Negativity Brain-Drain

BMX

The other day, I looked out the window and saw a kid on a bike waiting for the traffic light to change. It was one of those BMX-type trick bikes. As he waited for the light to change, he balanced on one foot, on the side of the bike, as he held it nearly parallel to the ground. He managed it for a while, but then he slipped off and had to get back on and start over. My initial thought upon witnessing this display was an uncharitable Hah! Lookit the showoff douchebag fall off his silly bike!

Then I took a (mental) step back.

Why did I immediately assume he was showing off? Or even that he was an unpleasant human being? Continue reading