Today wasn’t great, but it was a day where I managed to overcome my brain (and body) challenges to make some things work for me. That’s not something I achieve every day, so I’m taking a moment to be thankful I was as productive as I was.
In that spirit, I’m closing out the night with a very warm fuzzy thought. I may be asleep by the time Steven gets home from work, but when he does, I’ll be tucked warm and cozy in my blankies, and he’ll settle himself down on the couch and watch the highlights of the hockey games he had to miss because he was working.
It may sound so banal as to make you question why that’s a warm fuzzy, but there’s something comfortably wonderful about the cozy knowledge that we’ll be right where we belong. Especially on bad-brain days, I crave stability and predictability, so here’s to a night like many, many others.
And thank heavens for warm fuzzy thoughts because it’s currently -31°C (-24°F), and poor Steven is walking home! Then my walk to work tomorrow will look like this… brr
Okay, so that’s not always good advice. It’s often impossible to just work through it—whatever “it” may be. But occasionally, for me, it not only keeps life on track—it actually helps.
These last *mumble mumble* months (years?) have been pretty rough in the brain chemistry department. And as I work with doctors and lifestyle changes to try to sort things out, it can be quite a roller-coaster of non-productivity and keeping-afloat and oh-my-god-I-let-everything-slide-now-I’m-screwed.
I’m trying to get better at remembering that there’s a weird limbo-area where I am most certainly not feeling well, but I can still Get Things Done. And when I lean into that (instead of leaning into the couch, as is my wont), my mental health actually improves. (Marginally, but I’ll take any little bit of improvement.)
It’s not easy to remember that, so this is a very public reminder to myself. At the risk of going all corporate:
Just do it.
I’ve talked before about some of my coping mechanisms for dealing with mental health issues: how I remind myself depression lies, how I use jigsaw puzzles to calm my anxious mind, how I focus on the good stuff. One other thing I do is try to harness my mental weirdness and use it for good when I can. I have more than a touch of obsessive-compulsiveness. Happily, it’s not enough to interfere much with my daily life. In fact, I’ve found a way to trick my compulsive brain into working for me instead of against me.
The key is randomness.
No. There are two keys: randomness and dice.