Job!

Yes! I’m a working girl once again. Well, sorta. It’s a temporary gig, but it could possibly maybe lead to something permanent. (Please cross all your fingers and toes for me.)

Now I’m not gonna write much about my job specifically, ’cause I feel like that’d be unprofessional, but I will observe how much I am digging the structure of having a place to go to day in, day out again. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but my brain really craves routine. I wasn’t doing the best job of creating a routine for myself, so my mind-juices have been much more balanced the past week or so than they had been for a while.

If this does end up being a truly temporary position, I’m literally writing this note-to-self to remind me to do a better job of sticking to a schedule and create some at-home structure for myself. I always forget how good that is for me until it’s gone for a while and then back. So yay for that!

Additional yay: I really like the job. I get to write, and I get to organize information and track things to make sure they get done on time–all things at which I excel. Plus it’s walking-distance from home. In the summer in Edmonton, that’s a great thing. And I feel good about what I’m doing so it’s a win all around.

Now if only we could find Steven a job too… Actually, he’s been hard at work getting things set up for the podcast production business we’re launching. (It’ll be a side-gig for me if I end up with a permanent position. If I don’t, then I throw myself into podcasting! Kind of a win-win, really.)

Anyway, we’ve come up with a name which is both deep-dive geeky and perfect: Castria. Gold star to anyone who spots why we picked it.

You Can’t Go Back

As I compose this, I’m sitting on the couch next to my spouse, Steven. We’re watching TV together. This wouldn’t be a weird thing, except that it’s during the day on a weekday.* That doesn’t usually happen. Or it didn’t usually happen. It certainly can now because Steven was laid off last week.

This was completely unexpected, though not entirely surprising. (He worked in the swiftly-sinking television industry. As he put it “I caught the first lifeboat off the Titanic.”) The lack of warning made it quite the heart-stopping day. The fact that I’m also between jobs leaves us with little in the way of a safety net. And that’s scary.

My greatest personal struggle right now is to keep from beating myself up. If you’ve been reading this blog regularly, you know I chose to leave my job last year because it wasn’t a great fit, and I wanted to pursue something that would make me happier. That was the right decision at the time. I knew the job market in Edmonton was tough, but I felt it was worth the risk.

From this angle, that risk looks much worse than it did back then. But blah blah hindsight blah blah. As my wise mother told me when I called to tell her the news, “You can’t go back.” Continue reading